Less is more … unless, of course, you’re talking about Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. That’s another matter, which we will save for the end (because writers often relate the last paragraph to the first paragraph).
“Less is more” belongs right up there with “Show, don’t tell”. The two are travelling companions; next of kin, actually.
Imagine them as cousins …
At first, they may appear argumentative, but when you get to know them they are indeed quite agreeable.
“Less is More” may fool you into thinking he’s shy or introverted. But, he has hidden strengths: when he speaks, people listen and what he says makes sense: it’s easily understood; it’s specific and clear.
For example, he describes how Great Aunt Harriet trembles as she ambles forward and how she lisps as she speaks. He swipes an unruly lock from her forehead, defining how her curls frame her blushed cheeks and dip on the sides of her forehead.
“Less is More” uses strong verbs and few adjectives. It’s easy to tell he’s related to “Show, Don’t Tell”. The two are inseparable; the family resemblance, unmistakable.
“Show, Don’t Tell” studies affectionately each detail of his Great Aunt Harriet. She trembles, her milky tea threatening to splash in waves over the rim of her rose-petal china. Her hand is a leaf, weathered and at the mercy of autumn’s breath. Her tongue wrests to greet him as he notices her white-linen curls, how they frame her blushed cheeks and kiss her forehead on either side of her crinkled brow, swirling like the tops of the 50-cent soft-serve cones they enjoyed on Sundays under the awning of Jake’s Corner Confectionery.
Less is more where adjectives are concerned.
Try this: write a paragraph describing anything, using as much detail as possible and then read it out loud. Now remove the adjectives (words that describe a noun) and list them on a separate sheet of paper. Read your story.
Now look at the verbs (a word that describes an action). Can you replace them with stronger ones? More unusual ones?
Do the same with the nouns.
Finally, replace only the adjectives that help you to see, hear, taste, touch and feel. How does it read now?
Here’s another exercise: write 100 words describing putting one (just one) tablespoon of your favourite ice cream into your mouth. Go out and buy it, if it isn’t in your freezer already. Plunge your spoon in and lift the heaping mound to your lips. Wait. Close your eyes. Think about what you are experiencing. Use all of your senses.
Then describe it.
When you’re finished, cut your story to 50 words, observing which words you’ve removed.
Read it out loud. Which version sounds better? Stronger?
Do you see how less is more and how you can strengthen your writing by showing, not telling?
Now, enjoy the rest of that ice cream. And, Check out www.benjerry.com.)